Generational Cycle Breaking: Unlearning modelled behaviour of dysfunction

The term "cycle-breaker" refers to a person who sees a toxic cycle or pattern in one's family unit and is the chosen one to break it. This very cycle breaker frees the whole bloodline from underlying issues; including future generations. Needless to state, cycle breakers are the "black sheep" of the family that take up the onus to heal the DNA and future bloodline by disagreeing to stuck beliefs,toxic norms, certain behaviours like addictions or domestic abuse.

The generational lineage breaks the curses that have been carried on since decades.A cycle breaker's path is utmost arduous as it forces them to go against the grain.

In a dysfunctional family dynamic, where childhood trauma is a recurring theme in the form of domestic violence or abuse, children are forced to put up with such an unhealthy behaviour causing a toxic family cycle. Hence,this causes an unknowing law of attraction, of attracting similar dysfunctional romantic partners in adulthood.

I would like to throw light on a pertinent instance, the impact of divorce on children. Divorce brings a lot of devastation,grief and traumatic loss for the children of divorced parents. Practically speaking, divorce leads to single parenting. Even in cases of shared custody, the parent who lives with the child carries more responsibility in terms of day-to-day care and support for the child. The financial burden remains heavy on the parent with custody, while the other parent may resist or contribute a reasonable amount towards the needs of the children. Thus, the stress of separation is easily transferred to children, resulting in dysfunctional mental behaviour of the child.

Like a domino effect, the trauma is carried forwarded to the future generations to recognize and break the traumatic generational cycle.

Children are like sponges, they easily pick up the good and bad behaviours and mimic what they learn at home. If a child is brought up in an environment full of tension and hostility; it is highly likely that their future households will exhibit the same conflicts in life.

Needless to say, it is a back breaking struggle to breakaway from these patterns as the ego mind may trick one to say that this is revolting because the ego mind ensures to keep one in a familiar territory, even though it is no longer serving us.

Cycle breakers require a whole re-parenting of self by making the change and re-wiring the behaviours by addressing difficult emotions and move towards healthy parenting.

The next segment will consist of certain steps to rewire and address generational trauma to eliminate it from the root.

#1 Firstly, it is essential to become aware consciously of the particularities of the programming that carry ancestral trauma starts losing it's grip on the cycle breaker.

#2 Create an ancestral energy clearing field by calling the spirit guides and ancestors of the light to help the specific person clear any ancestral trauma in one's maternal and paternal bloodlines in all directions of time.

#3 Creating a healthy environment of emotional awareness and emotional regulation between the person and their existing family members.

#4 Maintaining better self care, self confidence for oneself and instilling self awareness amongst children. Better self care would start with shedding off obligations to sacrifice oneself to keep the peace, being able to express and voice out authentic expression are some examples.

#5 Deciding to undertake professional therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) or as simple as talk therapy to therapists to let go of guilt,shame or trauma.

#6 Learning to set boundaries in relationships and not taking other people's actions personally and not guilt tripping oneself for their behaviours.

#7 Lastly, which is seen widely amongst children and adults with family trauma; need to be perfect at all times. Releasing false perfectionism standards and people pleasing beliefs by being kind and loving to self before others.

As I wrap up today's topic of discussion, I would wish to conclude by saying that having tough conversations with our parents,our grandparents is the need of the hour to comprehend diverse perspectives. Allowing oneself to be open to not getting answers we may want to hear, is authenticity. Progress is not linear and neither healing should be.