Twin Flame Codependency: A healing journey of overcoming limiting self-beliefs

The chimeric quote that I happened to read while researching on my blog was by Mica Akullian,a renowned specialist in the healing of marriage and family patterns which is one of this proficient forte that stated, "At the heart of codependency is a disconnection from one's own center. When we don't feel centered,we look outwards for our balance,well-being,and peace. In the state of imbalance,we are likely to feel fear regarding one's own creative potential and power".

In a twin flame connection,our past life and childhood wounds re-surge,to such an extent that we subconsciously project them onto our twin soul and want them to fill in those wounded spaces with their love. That is quite unfair and a lose dynamic of the connection. The co-dependency of our twin flame doing our own healing work is like building a house on ice blocks, you know once the ice block melts,the house will collapse. There are many toxic patterns that link to codependency in a twin flame relationship which is carried forward in the connection that creates a running and chasing dynamic between the divines souls.

I too, made similar blunders in my initial years of my twin flame journey which I will be sharing with the viewers in this article. Few key repeated patterns,that I sub-consciously projected onto my twin flame were:

#1 Putting my divine counterpart on a pedestal and not focusing on my goals and my life.

#2 Sending him more spiritual healing rather than working on my toxic traits and relationship patterns.

#3 Allowing him to treat me worse than the treatment I give him. Living with patterns of disrespect and emotional neglect.

#4 Letting my health and well-being suffer out of fear of losing the divine counterpart and taking reigns to fix the connection.

#5 Self isolation. I have self-isolated since 2020 contrary to the person I was, managing my own work,my own social and professional life and other projects. I had become a loner and in that process of isolating, I lost a chuck of my old friends.

#6 I would want to mention, one striking co-dependent behavior that I followed as a pattern was, self blame of not doing enough in the connection to be in the 3D union.

All of the above discussion points came from a place of inadequacy,lack of personal boundaries and low self-esteem. This results in vicious toxic patterns that are highly dysfunctional and detrimental to the mind,body and soul. My share of experience in my journey was that I became utterly co-dependent in my twin flame connection due the stemmed insecurities I had, as I lacked self-love and additionally, my childhood experiences of growing up with a toxic parent,bled into my divine twin relationship.

As a growing child, I learnt that by over-loving and overgiving into a relationship without the same reciprocation was completely healthy. Keeping myself on low priority has been my lifelong toxic trait which I learnt after 25 years of my adulting life. I am yet learning and trying to heal from this pertinent personality trait which I was enlightened about in my twin flame connection and now,journey.

The concept of "self-validation from external sources" was my mantra which I dwelled upon my entire life. All these unhealthy patterns have bled into my personal and professional relationships. Colloquially,twin flames act out on one another due to their inner unhealed childhood patterns. This pattern broke me,tore my heart apart and I felt like I am being operated without anesthesia. The severity of the pain that my twin flame connection brought me was excruciating and agonizing.

After 4 years of immense internal conflict,I have worked upon and yet, have been working on rebuilding myself to get to the strongest version of my own being,identity and spirit. As I wind up about writing the co-dependency patterns that I projected, there is a quote that describes this situation rightfully, as quoted by Brene Brown, a US based writer well-known for research topics of shame,vulnerability and leadership,"When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable,we feel used and mistreated"

Unpacking this quote through my lens of interpretation,as an empath, I have always failed to set boundaries in my relationships and tend to take up the burden to fix issues that are not caused solely by me in connections and other areas on my life.This trait of unhealthy boundaries had led me to be a martyr in toxic relationships and this is what my twin flame journey has taught me to banish over the years.