Trauma Coerced Attachment Relationships: A slow poison for the soul

A lot of my readers would have stumbled upon the concept of trauma bonding; which is nothing but a relationship built on a foundation of abuse in the form of manipulation,control,gaslighting, shaming and sabotage. Needless to mention,there are often moments of displays of affection and exchange of sweet somethings.

Isn't it indeed cyclical in nature,this relationship? I would like to put it as an attachment rather than a relationship as the former does not have a solid base to create one. There is a high and low of feeling loved and being abandoned in a trauma bond which causes an intermittent reinforcement which makes it difficult for the abusers to leave.

It goes without saying, that such an attachment bond creates a deep damage of one's mental, emotional and physical health. Research states that trauma coerced relationships cause chronic mental issues such as anxiety,PTSD,hyperarousal and insomnia are some common mental illnesses seen in survivors. Putting 2+2, I come to a hypothesis that there is a neurological impact on the person's brain that creates a fight or flight response in unfamiliar conditions.

Thus,the intentional-created dependency of an idealized positive relation by the abuser is fostered through coercive control.

Why do I title this as a slow poison for the soul? As there is a need for deep healing post the trauma bond forming a disassociation with the abuser. An empath would be exhausted dealing with a borderline narcissistic personality or a full blown narcissist causing repeated trauma bonding cycles. My next segment takes me to discuss various self-care steps to break free from the emotional wounding.

#1 Creating a space from taking a step back and distancing from the abusive person to gain perspective and clarity on the relationship dynamic.

#2 Searching for a support group to openly discuss one's experience and gain insights on other's experiences in familiar situations.

#3 Practising self care through exercise,journaling,hydrating, relaxation practices like yoga,meditation,getting restorative sleep and spending time with family and trusted friends.

#4 Clearly,trauma bonds are devastating to one's self-esteem and emotional well being. Hence, being mindful to be gentle and kind to oneself creates a reinforcement of positive outlook to life.

#5 Focussing on the present allows one to view the relationship from a bird's eye view with reality check points.

The best outcome is to work towards breaking this bond with mindful methods of emotional healing,self care and self love.