EQ,IQ and SQ in Relationships:Striking a balance leads to wholeness
- Komal Mankani
- Jun 28, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 3, 2021
“What's potentially the greatest advice of all time? Remain childlike. Be open. Be adventurous. Be curious. Be eager to learn. Be genuine,not least to yourself. Don't judge. Acknowledge the wonder of life and the amazing experience it brings.” ~ Henk Schram
A lot of study has gone into the aspect on how the human brain functions.Human intelligence is a marvelous concept yet quite complex. The human brain is bifurcated into structural and rational mechanisms,adaptive mechanisms and cognitive mechanisms.
Let us first understand the 3 Quotients that a human brain consists of:
1) Emotional Quotient
2) Intelligence Quotient
3) Spiritual Quotient
Let us fragment each of these quotients to further understand the whole being of human nature. When we talk about Emotional Quotient, simply put, it sheds light on the ability to understand, recognize and manage emotions.It is linked to the non-verbal communication mode through cognitive intelligence of the human brain which helps us understand relationships, people, stress management to name a few. This is linked to the heart chakra i.e.people with a high EQ operate on the premise of love, forgiveness, kindness and compassion.
The second type of quotient is the Intelligence Quotient, this concept magnifies a human's ability to think independently and logically. People who are high on IQ analyse everything and are detailed oriented. They rank their independent space as a top priority. Such individuals prefer being alone than lower their standards as their priority is not acting out of emotions. People with a higher IQ tend to function on higher anxiety levels as they are generally, worrisome of material things and are factual oriented. People with a high IQ use their solar plexus chakra which operates on the premise of confidence, self esteem and control over life situations.
The third type of quotient is linked to social awareness and relationships management. This is known as the Social Quotient. People who have high SQ have the ability to tune into other people's emotions and read subtle behavioral responses and cues to respond to a situation effectively. Such persons are highly self aware and are effective listeners having tactful conversational skills and maintaining a good reputation i.e. social image about themselves is their prime objective. People with high SQ have little to no anxiety level as their are comfortable in their skin, they are said to have an open throat chakra i.e. ability to communicate effectively.
Attaining a balance between all three said quotients is highly challenging.SQ replaces ego with the soul,both as the seat of personal identity and a governor of IQ and EQ. When IQ(thought) and EQ (emotion) are governed by SQ( spirituality), thoughts and emotions are transformed as a quality conscious output and gives a while new purpose to life.
Fragmenting the three concepts further, IQ is "how we use our minds and how we think", EQ is : "how we react and respond to events and situations in our lives", SQ is "how we connect and relate to others". In order to create an inner synergy,the integration of the analytical intelligence,emotional intelligence and spiritual intelligence has to be powerfully modelled.
Sounds easy,right? Trust me, it takes years of inner work, healing and wisdom-both intellectually and spiritually to attain the right balance between the three quotients.
Communication is a "sine qua non" component in Latin which means absolute necessity. So,when it comes to decision making in an organisation, a person, usually an employer and employee at their individual levels of decision making, use rationality (thought)(IQ), behavioral output (action/response) (EQ) and shared common interests ( people who are involved in the decision making) (SQ)
Penning down my experience of how I self learnt the balancing act of EQ, IQ and SQ. As a teaching faculty, overtime, I have learnt to balance my EQ and SQ. With approximately 6 years of experience as a teaching member of staff,it has taken me a great deal to understand and integrate IQ with EQ in my teaching styles. however, SQ is a recent concept that I have been introduced to which I have developed an affinity to about 2.5 years till date.
Simple ways to raise your SQ is by having compassion and being mindful of one's interactions with others. I would like to share an example here,initially when i was working at the finance firm,I had a different behavioral pattern toward my work. I used to have an analytical mindset as I was intellectually stimulated by reading about the current upgrades in the financial sector, analysis pay and compensation structures,where I used to calculate the pay hikes to be given to the prospective candidates, discussing and brainstorming about recruitment procedures. I was tailored to use rational and logic i.e more of the left hemisphere of my brain.
As rightly quoted by Ambrose Bierce, "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret".
The above example is the one that speaks of using the IQ function to the maximum. As I shifted my industry and got into teaching, dealing with teenagers required self motivation, empathy and social intelligence. As in teenage years, young adults are sensitive to their social image, they prefer amiable and a social environment ans look for a human connect, a mentor and a guide in a professor. I started moulding myself into an easy going and approachable person which was a radical shift seen in my personality.
I noticed a change in my communication patterns,thinking patterns and more so,I grew compassionate overtime.Moving with compassion and emotional agility,I was able to connect with people at an emotional level. My behaviour shifted towards collaboration, patience and inclusiveness towards the students.
This is a transformative example of balancing between the IQ and EQ parts of the brain cells. It takes a great amount of human evolution experience of converting though patterns from an analytical mindset to an empathetic mindset.
Going back to the concept of SQ, I would term this quotient as " beyond the ethereal plane". Simply put, it is the astral science which is a parallel dimension where the soul exists outside of the body. Confused much? So I have been learning tarot cards and reading about spiritual connections in the 5th dimension. What I have gathered out of my research that, there are connections that are beyond earthly realms, there are vibes, energies that bond people at a soul level. This evolution of SQ is to be brought about consciously and sub-consciously by gaining the inner knowing of oneself, shedding beliefs and old patterns and evolving at a higher level of consciousness.
Having a high SQ means that one acts more responsibly towards self and others, increases humility in self and self contentment. The more a person remains calm and humble, the higher a person can create a balance within their mind and energy to gain higher perspective about people, places, events connections one share and things that happen to them.
Food for thought, can a person balance out all the three stated quotients?
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